After moving to Dover, it quickly became apparent that I was much
better off in the sewers of New York City. And I wasn't even living in
the sewers in Delaware. I was renting what was considered a nice
apartment there. It was just the worst though. All the people were
always walking around with their dumb faces, saying dumb things. I once
saw a guy vomit his food up just so he could eat it again. This wasn't
fancy food either. He was at a Golden Corral. People in Delaware would
rather eat vomit than get up to get another plate from the buffet! True
story! Decent people don't do shit like that...or eat at Golden Corral.
So anyway, I had to move again. Because I'm a stupid douche, I had to
lay out another option. I figured Washington D.C. might be a good place
for a turtle with a hard shell. But there's still Memphis where I don't
have to worry about being food.
- Move to Memphis!
- Move to D.C.!