I was born in a magical place that is populated by toad people, crazy
fire breathing plants, princesses, koopas, and Italian Americans. I am
Italian American. It's pretty good, but there are only so many jobs for
Italian Americans in the Mushroom Kingdom, and unfortunately all of
those jobs are plumbing.
I do an okay job
running the Mario Brothers Plumbing business with my stupid brother
Luigi. Sometimes we go on adventures to rescue the princess Peach
because she is so often getting kidnapped by Bowser! The nerve of that
guy! Our adventures are much fun because I usually don't even let Luigi
play. He just hangs back and waits his turn that will never come
because I am the best!
UH OH! My little mushroom headed toad
friend is on his way! This either means Peach has been captured by the
Bowser again, or the royal toilet has been clogged up by her royal
highness and her royal tampons again.
- She's been kidnapped!
- She's clogged the toilet!